Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
