So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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