What a fucking waste of an outfit
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
