What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
