what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
