He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
