Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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