Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
