I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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