I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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