i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize