I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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