How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
