Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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