He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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