I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
