thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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