She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
