All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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