Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize