So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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