But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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