I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
