girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
