Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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