dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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