The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
