Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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