so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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