Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
