I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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