Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
