We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize