Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
