laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
