if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
