I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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