he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
