She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
