My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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