how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
