I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Randomize
