How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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