Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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