yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
