...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
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Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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