i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
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heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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