North Korea, Best Korea!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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