somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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