Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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