is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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