Soap is not a condiment
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
