My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
