Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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