I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
