Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
