I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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