I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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