You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
