its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hippo gnu deer
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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