I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
