this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
