Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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