he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he puts the penis in happiness.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
