And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
