STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
